#not heavy but its implied and i know some people aren't into it

[uter-us]

"magic gender feelings"

hey yall! gonna clarify stuff abt this post

outside of and including radfems, there are many reasons a woman might not "feel" like a woman. a huuuuge notable one is that we live in a world where women are not valued the way men are and that is reflected in media and politics and interpersonal experiences and like every second ever. of course a woman or girl might not "feel" like the caricature, stereotype, or role that is thrust upon women. she might not feel the same way the rest of the word "feels" a woman should be. that is not "called being nonbinary," its just a normal reaction to misogyny

additionally, when radfems say they do not "feel" like a woman, its often heavy on the word feel, in that we simply are women and our womanhood is not tied to an internal ("magic gender") feeling. (fyi ik the "magic" part is j lighthearted and a joke, but the content of the message applies.) that is why i do not "feel" like a woman because i cannot "feel" something that is merely my reality. (i don't feel like i have curly hair, i just have curly hair.) most actual feelings i have regarding myself and my inner identity are merely aspects of my personality.

some comments:

->

(the person in the middle is being mean for no reason so ignore that)

i get the sentiment, and i can recognize that honestly in some ways it probably is much easier, but it's also not based in any material reality. and when denying (or just not completely understanding. im not attributing malice!) the subjugation an entire class of people face due to their sex, that is not a happy sparkly good vibe

i used to go by all pronouns and while never outwardly identified as "genderfluid" i heavily identified with it. and i do know that "vibe," and i cant describe the uniquely liberating experience it is to recognize that being a woman means nothing to my "vibe" or personality or anything like that.

i know the word "woman" takes on a lot, especially roles/stereotypes, but you don't ever have to reflect that in your actions. you can vibe with what makes you happy without attributing it to not being your observed sex. like you can legitimately do and be whatever you are doing while female and that qualifies as a woman!! theres nothing more to it!! its amazing!

when i hear radfems make the claim that "everyone would be nonbinary," it's more in the sentiment that no one 100% adheres entirely to the roles/expectations of man or woman, basically that to imply some people's "gender" or whatever IS binary is strange! not even the most tradwife or "alpha male" commits entirely to the role yk? not even they are 100% in either binary. it would be impossible, and every person inches out of these gendered expressions/performances/etc at LEAST from time to time (some more often than others, but it definitely is everybody)! so its just recognizing that sure there could be some "gender spectrum" but its far more real to acknowledge everyone is somewhere in the middle of these strict binaries than just a minor group of people. (at least that's my understanding of when radfems make that statement.)

lots of radfems used to be TRAs or trans-identified individuals-- even still have dysphoria-- and that contributed to their becoming radfems!! many radfems understand the pain of dysphoria, and their experience w medicalization and/or interpersonal experiences aid in their current understanding of gender ideology and what it means to be a woman. (also see below cuz i expand more on the other part, especially the last comment.)

the first comment i find so interesting because i think thats often the point. like often someone will claim they feel like a woman/man/nonbinary-person/etc or not, and are so sure of it. and because so much of this is dependent on the way you feel, one of the things that changed my mind abt gender ideology was j considering like, "how do i know this isnt the feeling of a woman? how do i know other women aren't experiencing this?" like even trans rights activists will state that not everyone "feels" being nonbinary the same way for example. so who's to say this feeling i feel is not also the feeling of a woman? yk? because chances are, theres a lot of other women feeling discomfort with their natal sex and perception/self-perception, and so much more!

so i'd ask anyone who says what the top comment says: if a woman is someone who feels like a woman, but you can't define or break down that feeling, how are you sure all of these women are feeling the same thing?

i consider myself a relatively patient person 99% of the time, but this is so aggravating! for anyone not in the loop, an egg is a term for someone who is trans but doesn't know it yet. hypocrisy is one of my greatest frustrations, cuz a huge TRA thing is that you can't tell other people if they are a man/woman/nonbinary-person/etc, and you always have to respect their identity, but apparently that doesn't apply now!!

its very invasive to push your own idea of what and who someone is onto them-- and no one can claim this "isn't pushing" when this individual has literally written (unsolicited) about a stranger's identity based off their own projections or preconceived ideas on what a woman should feel. and i get it, its the internet, people are gonna write whatever, but i have a right to be frustrated by it too!!

okay last one! if anyone knows where that post is or who made it, but basically i saw this post on here a while ago about how sometimes TRAs resemble some Christians. and the example was comparing something similar to the above circled comment, to an interaction between an atheist and a Christian thats something like. "I'm an atheist." "Oh, so you worship Satan?" and its like the idea that someone can't even consider outside of their view that their attempt to align you w it is entirely inaccurate, yk? like atheists don't worship Satan cuz they don't believe in him! and radfems/whoever don't have "a gender" cuz they don't believe in it (in the same sense tras do)!!

im sorry if i've come off super irritable writing this! i think im j frustrated for other reasons besides this, but i hope i don't come off especially unkind because i genuinly don't hold any hatred or discontentment w this person who made that tiktok, my point to this post is to clarify some of these comments because i see this idea all the time and when the radfem pov is misconstrued its much harder for TRAs to converse w us (cuz they arent really debating our ideas, but some other group w some other ideas). (i also dont speak for all radfems so keep that in mind too.) anyway if anyone disagrees/agrees or has corrections or needs clarification or anything feel free to reply!! :)

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh I had a book review that I never did - Apostles of Mercy. Third in a series that I like, but while still "good" its the worst one so far! The Noumena series is a First Contact story set in Bush-era USA, telling the tale of Cora, a down-on-her-luck "everygirl" who gets dragged into being an interpreter/uncomfortably-intimate pairbond for an alien refugee named Ampersand whose home species is probably gonna wipe out humanity as a threat prevention/"why not" measure. Lets complain about things on the complaining-blog:

(The cover art continues to slap, no downgrade there)

Book 1 of the Noumena series is, fundamentally, the story of Cora and Ampersand, and how they connect. It is done really well, their differences stack on their shared contexts and a bit of alien magic to make it really believable that they become a found family unit. So in book 2... Ampersand kind of PTSD's into becoming a reclusive asshole, and Core spends most of the book away from him connecting with other people? It is an odd choice but, you know, this can work. You create space in a relationship, they grow and change from the space, then reunite and that distance in fact builds the foundation for new stuff. Its bold for book 2 but fair enough. But then she does it again in Book 3!! Cora goes off to deal with other issues and hang out with someone else, and is primarily annoyed by or made deeply uncomfortable by Ampersand's presence and decision-making for most the book. Its not as severe this time, but still; you can't play that card again, like come on! Are you telling your Transformers meets Beauty & the Beast fanfic or aren't you? Make up your mind! It comes off as too-clever-by-half, someone uncomfortable with doing the "typical" and having to constantly ~subvert, to ill effect.

Speaking of, the distraction du jour for Book 3 is Paris, Cora's new girlfriend. And she is very, very boring. She is just A Person, spends most of the book a prisoner trying to survive alien captors who don't understand her, and pretty much just has to be rescued at the end. There is no connective tissue - skills that she has that are crucial, themes she is the lodestone for, etc. In Book 2 Cora's partner Kaveh was far, far more interesting - he pushed the narrative forward, he was audacious and witty, and he had a deep internal narrative as to his motivations and goals. Paris seems like a checkbox in comparison. And I think there is something to that - in an interview Ellis remarked that she has gotten far less "critique" on her male characters than her female characters from the lens of making them interesting to read. She implies a degree of audience sexism there, but I think its probably the reverse - besides Cora (who is great) her male characters are just way more fun because, surprise surprise, they are allowed to be assholes sometimes in ways that make them complex and interesting. Even Kaveh, who is a very positively coded character, is a thirty-something rich guy sleeping with a college-aged broke trauma ball and is shamefully kind of loving being the fixer to her broken bird. That is good shit to read about - Paris could never because she is simply A Good Person. Because of Woke.

And speaking of politics! So this part of the series was always a little cringe - Ellis as a writer wears her politics on her sleeve and they are definitely a form of unsophisticated leftism with some really heavy-handed moments. But I don't mind reading the works of people I disagree with, I quite love it in fact; in the first book it is generally fine, because she sets up competent and realistic opponents. In Book 1 its the CIA embodied in Sol Kaplan, who believes in the War on Terror and all that jazz and is one of the best side characters, and Cora has to face brutal consequences for her own ideals. In Book 2 the cringe ratchets up a bit but still, here the debate is over civil rights & strategic approaches to the now-public alien refugees, and the "right-wing" factions are portrayed with intelligent arguments around security & deterrence, and also score their own wins. In Book 3, the main plot revolves around a sister alien faction's camp who specialize in biotech. And they have this whole thing where they move from place to place for secrecy, and to be away from people they find themselves in the Chernobyl exclusion zone, and then an uncleansed mine field in Cambodia. At which point they start saying things like "we should eliminate the humans, we would steward the earth better" and you in the audience are totally supposed to be sympathetic to that. Its incredibly eyeroll, the large majority of the planet is rural countryside they could escape to with nothing close to that scale of damage, they literally chose the worst possible locations on two coin flips in a row. How are they not in Montana. Or Siberia. Its cringe, guys. She does the same thing with the CIA in this book, who eventually get commandeered by a US general who literally thinks of ethnic minorities as subhuman and says so explicitly. Incredible cringe.

Finally, Mary Sue problems. Cora interacts extensively with three humans in this book, and two of them want to fuck her and the third is her evil dad. Said dad spent the first two books being a distant figure pulling off big moves; in this book he literally does nothing but putz around, with no clear agenda but "butter up Cora", who sees through it immediately and fucks him over at the end. Like you spent two books setting this guy up? That is it? So Cora can look smart? We already knew she was smart. Someone says he loves her an "angelic" platonic way. Its not a good look and tbh a little baffling coming from Ellis, who is not at all someone who typically does that kind of stuff. I have to chalk that up to "ah fuck how do I wrap this arc up" syndrome.

Okay, done! Tbc the core of the book was still solid plotting and there was progress on interesting fronts. Its just sad to read Book 3 in a series where it commits mistakes the first two books explicitly avoided, like she ran out of endurance. Hopefully this is a book where she just got it out of her system.

[warsamongthestars]

There's a whole heaping lot of nonsense in TBB, honestly, and its not even the good shit.

I mean, there's bits, but a bit ain't a scene or an episode, yeah?

TBBshow seems to run on the idea of that character interaction, conversation, quirks or just breathers, are all filler--that anything that isn't immediately serving the (immediate) plot is pointless.

And I'm gonna tell ya--that's a bit like serving pie without the filling. That's like serving bread crust because the soft light bits were "filler". That is like creating the aroma of frying eggs or onions--and then just serving a cup of the resulting grease instead.

Like, congrats, you know how to mid-max speed run 100%... in the wrong fucking medium.

If you're wondering by now, what I mean by heaping nonsense--its literally the Plot Pushy Bullshit. Congratulations, doing things that only forward the maiden plot, makes your story stupid. If I want something that is simply pure plot, I would pick up a Pre-Schooler's Naptime book.

There's a reason the strongest episodes in TBB are those that center around its main characters (That aren't Omega)--the Single Crosshair and Single Tech episodes, are the strongest episodes and stories, on show, because they rely on the development of their already strongly written characters.

When you sacrifice Character for Plot, you have effectively boiled something down to being a blank pawn on the board.

Too many fall under the idea that everything that isn't immediately action oriented plot, must be Filler, and I gotta tell ya pal, if you don't have the patience to reach the story at it strengths--the problem isn't the story, its PEBCAK.

( Part of it is the environment we've all been in. High pace information environments have this bad habit of destroying natural animal patience. Which means actually sitting yourself down, and learning how to watch paint dry is probably the best cure for it. )

Any writer can do character. In fact, for example, most fanfics are nothing but character driven.

The strongest shows out here, are all character driven.

... Star Wars OG, while it started with being driven by plot stocks, became character driven by the end.

Most of the Prequel Series is character driven (if too dialogue heavy... )

The whole TCWshow is character Driven, in fact, it turned the Clones from CGI Carboard cutout redshirts into a full blown implied culture of people.

( In fact, TCWshow is So character driven, they had to plot out why these characters would have to fail come Revenge of the Sith, because at the rate they were going, they were about to hit critical AU and solve Star Wars before the OG trilogy could )

So "Logically Following Plot" is just as bad as characters "Following Logical Actions at All Times". I cringed every time I saw TBB try to "logic" its plot out every episode (which honestly makes me think that AI was involved as some point, because it was almost dream-like how it tried to march to... a conclusion. Certainly none of the ones we got, but some imaginary conclusion. )

( It air and write during the Writer's Strikes, and a lot of Disney stuff was AI written as a result. Lookin' at you, Wish. )

ADDENDUM:

Folks keep saying "If they only had more time". DUDES. OVER THE GARDEN WALL, BY CARTOON NETWORK, WAS ONLY 10 EPISODES, MADE (Written, Voiced, Animated, All of it) IN UNDER A YEAR, WITH CHARACTER, SYMBOLISM, SECRETS AND AN ALL STAR CAST. I am tired of hearing about "Oh they needed more time". That's an excuse at this point. No they didn't, they need actual Talent and Skill and a Love for the Process.

[tac-bat]

Why I love How Sky Portrays Death

Before I start, I go into detail about death and loss, and description of the afterlife and dying and examples of it in sky and a little mention of religion irl.

I wrote this while sleep deprived if this makes no sense, i'm not sorry

Take this all with a grain of salt as this is purely my observation and interpretation

To many, death is scary, unpredictable, and inevitable. Death is frightening because it represents the end of life, the loss and grief it brings, and the uncertainty of where we will go. Every religion has its own version of the afterlife, from our soul moving to a new body, places ranging from rewarding good and punishing evil, to simply being nothing. Death is scary because we'll never truly know what lies beyond or what awaits. It's complicated ,heavy, and it's something that many have delved deeper into too. I only bring this up because the sky not only answers, but embraces death. How? Let's take a look.

Orbit

Sky's interpretation of the afterlife is perfect. "All are given breath by starlight," as stated in the intro mural, everyone ends up back in the stars someday, becoming spirits that travel to this small part of the galaxy. They even seem to become one with the light and stars if they so please. And it's relaxing; it's soothing.

They know it exists.

Spirit's have shown from the beginning of the game that they can descend and ascend whenever they please. See all TS's, Grandma, and event spirits like Yeti, who appear briefly during Feast to cast a snowman spell before ascending. According to this logic, orbit is widely known because ancestors were bound to descend to explain what happens. And spirits aren't gone from their loved ones' lives; they're still present. They're not gone and can visit anytime they like; it's not hard for me to imagine them visiting others during holidays and events.

Gravestone's

In every social space, there are gravestones for every base-game ancestor. What's interesting is how they're laid out; unlike regular graveyards, which are organized in a line, none of the graves are uniform, some being lengths apart. This is very clear in Prarie, with one near the closet and another nestled in a cave; even irl graveyards that are less uniform don't tend to put burials that far away, but Sky does. It almost seems like an ancestor could've possibly chosen the placement themselves. You also have the special burial site at the 8-player door, a working elevator and all, the graves have their own little buildings and stones draped in gold, implying a ceremony as we know. Not only that, but Valley's way of honouring death is extremely interesting.

Let's talk about Samekh's temple

Valley really demonstrates how death is viewed—not in a morbid way but in an honourable way. The hallways of both races are lined with gravestones, with the exception of some open spaces. When compared to decorations such as the eight-player door, the gravestones themselves are painted in gold. They're unlike any graves seen so far, and you can argue that these were reserved for champions, and if so, I feel like the halls would be packed considering this is the valley of triumph, but no, there are still a few open spaces. Which makes me adore how there are gravestones in the twin's temple.

Their temple is the only one that not only has gravestones inside, but is lined with them! And considering their position and how we know they play a big role in the sky as leaders, to the point where they have a temple, it makes the fact they share it as an ancestor's final resting place so heartwarming to me. They were under no obligation to place gravestones; they could have dragged the banners down, added more statues, or even designed something similar to Daleth's temple like the murals we see, but they didn't. They allowed the room with their shrine to be a graveyard, they value their people's lives; they regard it as an honour, and whether those are the graves of champions or ordinary people, they value them all the same.

And it still hurts.

Even in the sky, where the question of death is answered, it still hurts.

It hurts when Mindful and a Tearful miner witness the deaths of their friends, Tearful having to bury their own. It hurts when Teabrewer returns with herbs for their loved one who died while they were away, so much so that they become anxious when they leave anyone alone, as seen in their info card. It's horrifying to know how many ancestors died in the war with no way to escape, faced with the fear of death every day.

Death is still scary in Sky, and I love it for that. Even when you know where you'll go, you still value your life; you don't want to die, and you don't want to go. But when that time comes, when you choose to be one with the universe, or roam your home with your star-kissed body, you'll never be alone. And that's why I adore the way death is depicted:

Because it's bittersweet.

[blueskittlesart]

hi! im really curious about your thoughts on oot, i'm trying really hard to like it and i wanna see what you enjoy about it

Hi!!! I'm going to do my best to explain exactly why I like oot but there is a TON of ground to cover. i have already written a bit about the story and my thoughts on it in this document, but this is a much more in-depth analysis of the symbolism and implied narrative which i think may be more helpful to you if you're struggling to get into the story and gameplay!

oot is my favorite zelda game of all time and was what made me fall in love with the series, but I will concede that it shows its age, especially with the insane advancements that video games have made over the past 2 decades or so since its release. Try to remember when playing it that it came out in 1998, when a game with any sort of 3d graphics at all was still new and exciting. some of its gameplay is going to be a bit dated, unfortunately, and it's totally reasonable to dislike that aspect of it i think! If you really find yourself struggling with gameplay, i recommend zeldadungeon.net for dungeon walkthroughs. they have very concise and easy-to-follow walkthroughs for the entire game which make the gameplay MUCH smoother for first-time players! there's no shame in needing walkthrough help in these dungeons, ESPECIALLY some of the later ones which get notoriously convoluted and difficult. that being said, even if you use walkthroughs, I'd encourage you to still pay attention to the dungeon's designs and details as a lot of thought was put into these designs and I think they're still some of the strongest in the series! gameplay-wise I'd also say that there are a lot of little collectibles that will seem like they're way more important than they are to new players. you don't need the skulltulas (they get you a bigger wallet), you don't need to complete any trading sequences, you don't even REALLY need to go out of your way to collect any of the extra heart pieces, the game is perfectly beatable with just the hearts you'll get from dungeons. Knowing all these things going in will really streamline your gaming experience and make things easier for you if you're getting put off by the 90s-style game design.

As for what i really love about the series, it's the story. And i understand that if you're not someone who makes a habit of analyzing media to an obsessive degree, at first glance oot doesn't seem to have a lot of story. A simple fact of old game design is that more dialog and cutscenes meant more storage space was needed, and the biggest constraint in game design at the time was the limited amount of storage a disc or cartridge could hold. What this means is that storytelling in older games like oot takes a very different form than the cutscene and dialog-heavy storytelling that games tend to use nowadays. the storage restrictions on the game meant that a lot of oot's story had to be told implicitly, via details and worldbuilding and actions carried out by the player. I know this can make it difficult to grasp at first glance! that's why i love to analyze it and talk about it, because I want people to understand how rich and well-told oot's narrative actually is and i know that most people aren't as willing to put in the work as i am, lol. with that being said, this is where the spoilers are gonna start! i'm gonna recap and analyze most of oot's story here, so if you're not looking for spoilers scroll away now and experience the game for yourself!!

oot is at its roots a story about adults failing children. i will elaborate on this point a bit more later, but for now let's look at our opening segment. We are introduced to our link, the youngest link in the franchise, at nine years old. From the get-go, we as the player are told that link's hylian parents died in a conflict very shortly after he was born, leaving him in kokiri forest to be raised by the deku tree, among the kokiri.

The kokiri are a race of eternal children. what this means, essentially, is that we begin the story with a link wearing rose-tinted glasses. the kokiri live forever without aging or dying, and they never leave the forest. Link has grown up isolated and without any concept of aging or death. he has been told by the deku tree, his father-figure, that he IS a kokiri and therefore will never age or die. Despite this, link does have a crucial difference from the rest of the kokiri that even he is aware of--he has no fairy. If you talk to the kokiri in the initial kokiri forest segment of the game, many of them will talk down to you or make remarks about you finally getting a fairy, reminding the player that link knows SOMETHING is wrong with him, that he's different from the other kids somehow, but he's not yet been able to pinpoint what.

we come to our first dungeon segment, where the deku tree summons link and tells him that he's dying and that link must defeat a monster to save him. when the player completes this objective, the deku tree dies anyway, revealing that he knew all along he couldn't be saved and lied to link about it in order to get him to do the dungeon. with his dying breath, he tells link to leave the forest and find princess zelda. (worth noting that up until this point, link has been told that leaving the forest will KILL HIM.) this is the first major failure of an adult we see, and as the inciting incident of the game it sets the tone very nicely for the rest of the shitshow. The deku tree lies to link his entire life about who he is, and then spends his dying moments lying to link AGAIN, specifically in service of a greater plan to turn link into the savior of hyrule by sending him to help princess zelda. this point is crucial--the deku tree has clear-cut, understandable reasons behind acting the way he does. It would have been much easier on link to allow him to grow up isolated among the kokiri, and it removes a lot of the potential danger he would have faced as an orphan in hyrule in the aftermath of the war which killed his parents. (we will later see that hyrule is in no way a safe place for a child on their own.) Explaining all the magical-destiny lore to a nine year old had the potential to scare him away from the task ahead, as did admitting to him that there was no way to save the deku tree. But lying to him about it all still ultimately deeply hurt him. this is the stage upon which the rest of the game will build.

Link, freshly traumatized by the death of his tree dad, leaves kokiri forest. he goes to castle town and meets princess zelda, a girl no older than him. Princess zelda tells him that she fears for the safety of her kingdom, but that no one will listen to her when she tries to warn them of the danger. this is our second adult failing--the entire conflict around which this game centers could have been prevented if only any adult was willing to listen to zelda's concerns about ganondorf. But because she is a child she is dismissed over and over again until she finally turns to ANOTHER child for help. her plan for link involves him retrieving objects needed to open the gateway to the sacred realm within the temple of time, which i know sounds like a bunch of confusing lore shit but all you really need to understand is that there's a gateway to what is essentially godlike power inside this temple, and zelda wants link to open the gateway and claim the power before ganondorf can. link already has one of the 3 keys he needs--it was the reward for killing the deku tree beating the first dungeon in kokiri forest, and zelda takes this as proof enough that he will be able to find the other two.

in these first three dungeon segments, link is confined to his nine-year-old form. His sword is wooden and deals considerably less damage than it will later in the game, and in each of the dungeon segments there are reminders of the way being a child affects his autonomy in hyrule--the guard at the gates of death mountain won't let him pass, the zora princess berates him for not being enough of a man, several collectibles are clearly visible but impossible to reach with his current size & ability, etc etc. this section of the game is deliberately juxtaposed against the initial segment in kokiri forest, in which everything was built for someone of link's size and strength and no part of the map was unexplorable or all that challenging. What you're supposed to realize here is that being a kid in hyrule is HARD. you have very little autonomy and are constantly condescended to. One of the few hylian npcs your age, Malon, is a good example of this--in her mini-quest she vents to link about how her father can't see that his stablehand resents him and she's constantly having to look after him without being listened to. She is being given adult responsibilities (looking after her father & the animals on their farm) without adult social status. Her situation is a deliberate parallel to both link and zelda's, though during this 3-dungeon segment of the game it's not immediately clear yet just how much adult responsibility link is actually shouldering. in any case, this is our third example of adults failing children, and the theme begins to be echoed in the worldbuilding of hyrule during this stage as well.

now we come to the initial confrontation, the scene which alters the trajectory of the game and divides what i consider the first and second halves of the gameplay (although the second half is probably much longer lol). Link, having found all 3 keys to the sacred realm, returns to hyrule castle, only to find that ganondorf has attacked, forcing princess zelda to flee with her attendant. He catches one final glimpse of her where she throws him the final key needed to unlock the temple of time: the ocarina. although no words are exchanged between them, it's clear that she's asking link to carry out the rest of her plan on his own and claim the power sealed in the temple before ganondorf can. and so link goes to the temple of time and opens the gateway, but link is nine years old and so link doesn't notice that ganondorf, a trained thief, is following him. When he opens the temple, ganon siezes the power zelda was trying so hard to keep him from finding.

we then pan down to link again, but different. he's changed, he's older. notably, he isn't an adult. he is sixteen years old, physically, but mentally, for both link and the player, no time has passed at all. this is important to keep in mind for the rest of the game--no matter how link may look, he is mentally still nine years old. he wakes up to essentially a lecture from the world's biggest dickhead, the sage rauru. Rauru places the blame for ganondorf's rise to power squarely on link and zelda's shoulders, noting that if link hadn't opened the temple of time in the first place, ganondorf would have never been able to sieze power. he tells link that he placed him into a deep sleep for the past seven years because, at nine years old, he wasn't strong enough physically to take on ganondorf and win. But now, he says, link is old enough to be a real asset. it's time for link to defeat ganondorf.

Once again, we have a clear-cut case of adults failing children. Link and zelda took matters into their own hands BECAUSE of the adults in their lives. for link, it was the deku tree (HIS FATHER)'s dying wish that he help zelda. for zelda, her plan was a last resort after begging every adult in her life to see what was coming and being constantly ignored. now that what she predicted has come to pass, she and link take all the blame for it, for being kids in a difficult position doing the best they could with NO ADULT HELP WHATSOEVER. you can't place the fate of an entire kingdom on the shoulders of two nine year olds and expect it not to fall. but that's what hyrule's adult leaders did, and when the kingdom fell they let the nine-year olds take the blame for it. zelda hasn't been seen for years. she's either dead or in hiding out of shame for her mistake. meanwhile, Link has once again become a pawn in someone else's game. The sage rauru decides for him, without ever consulting him, that he can't be trusted to remain conscious for the seven years between gameplay segments. that he will be safer and happier to remain asleep. anyone who stops for a moment to consider what this might do to link's mental state would have not done this, but rauru sees link as a child, which in hyrule is synonymous with an object to be controlled, with no feelings of his own. he needs to be protected and hidden, regardless of what effect it has on him when he wakes up. nothing else matters as long as he can be kept alive and unharmed. this is a deliberate parallel to the way the deku tree treated link while under his care in kokiri forest--he doesn't need to know the truth, because it's easier and more convenient for everyone else if he doesn't. its effect on his mental state doesn't matter. what matters is that he is kept in a position which is convenient for the adults in his life. this is another reminder of the way in which being so young hurts link, and if I can diverge into real-world relevance for a second, it's an obvious metaphor for the way trauma steals one's childhood. Link was never allowed to grow up normally. he went from being a kid one day to an adult the next, with no time in between to figure anything out. his childhood, his coming-of-age, was stolen from him by greedy adults who needed him to be a pawn in their war.

the dungeons in the adult segment of the game can technically be completed in multiple different orders, but the usual order (and what i think is probably the way the narrative is intended to progress) is to get to the forest temple first, which requires you to reenter kokiri forest, all grown up. it's important to note that up until this point in your gameplay, link still has plausible deniability about his race. sure, he didn't die when he left the forest, but maybe that was a lie told to ALL kokiri. maybe he's still a kokiri and he won't grow up. but now he's got solid proof that he was lied to, and that the safe, beautiful sanctuary he's spent the majority of his life in was never actually meant to be his home. When you return to kokiri forest as an adult, you find that it's nothing like the safe-haven you remember. it's been overrun with monsters that are taller than you now, as an adult. This is a metaphor, obviously, for returning to someplace changed. link goes back to his home and it doesn't feel like his home anymore with all that he knows now. And if the monsters weren't enough, if link talks to the kokiri, cowering in their little kid-sized houses, not a single one of them recognizes him. they address him as an adult they've never met before. to them, it's been seven years, and they've never known a kid to grow into an adult before. but to link, it's been a few days at most, and inside he's still the little boy they knew.

the dungeons in this segment of the game are mostly straightforward training exercises to give link the necessary skills and assets he needs to fight ganondorf. I'll skip over most of them, but there are three things i DO want to highlight about this section of the game: malon, sheik, and the water temple.

Malon is introduced in the first half of the game as an example of another child with very little agency and power. Seven years later, if link visits her again, he will find the ranch in an even worse state, with the stablehand having taken over and kicked out malon's father. Malon stays purely out of fear of what will happen to her horses if she leaves them in his hands. She is an adult now, as you are, and yet she has even less power than before. So much of the first half of oot is framed in such a way that the player wishes link was older. It wants you to think, wouldn't this whole thing be easier if I was an adult? Wouldn't I have more power, more agency? but now that you ARE an adult, you're confronted with the fact that nothing has changed. you are still a pawn in a war against ganondorf. Malon is still trapped at the ranch, forced to endure daily abuse or leave her animal friends to die. however, this segment is also the first time you as the player are given the option to fight back. If you, as a child, have taken the necessary steps to befriend malon and epona, one of her horses, you are able to use the bonds you forged in childhood to run the stablehand off the ranch and return power to malon. this mini-arc with malon is a teaser for the overarching arc of the game--having no power in childhood, believing that adulthood will be your savior, but finding the same powerlessness in adulthood, and ultimately returning to pieces of your childhood in order to finally reclaim your power.

next up is sheik, who is deliberately a mystery for the majority of this segment, but. well. we all know he's zelda, so i'm not going to beat around the bush. Sheik is what has become of zelda in the years since ganondorf took power--where zelda was once strong-willed and refused to stand down in the face of danger, sheik now moves among the shadows, darting in to offer link a bit of help or advice but never getting too close. My reading of this is that zelda, after growing up in the aftermath of her failed plan, was afraid of what she'd done to link. She saw her influence as the thing that brought hyrule to ruin--after all, link never would have opened the door in the temple of time if not for her. The way she sees it, her choice to use him back when they were nine destroyed his life and her kingdom. This is why she's largely absent in this segment of the game, only stepping in for brief moments and disappearing the second link tries to reach out for her. Her character at this point is essentially representative of self-isolation as a coping mechanism.

finally the water temple, which I promise i didn't single out just because it sucks, but i will warn any potential players that it sucks. it's the most convoluted ass design in the world and even with a walkthrough it gets confusing and hard to navigate at times. this is not the point of this paragraph, though. the point of this paragraph is that there is a miniboss in this dungeon that is INCREDIBLY important to link's character and to this day is one of the most well-done and impactful battles i've ever had the pleasure of playing. (side note, why the hell did the himekawa manga make this battle happen at the bottom of the fucking well?? ive believed for years that he was a shadow temple boss because of that. whatever. anyways)

about halfway through this dungeon, you come upon a room that looks like an endless sea of water, with bits of ruins and a single rotting tree in the middle. when you walk into the room, you'll be attacked by a mini-boss that takes the form of link's reflection, black and translucent with glowing red eyes. the miniboss dark link will mimic your attacks and block when you swing, requiring players to be crafty and strategic in order to beat him instead of just swinging with the right weapon at the right time. from a purely gameplay-based standpoint, this fight is sick as hell. it rewards you for thinking on your feet and forces you to come up with real time strategy to beat a foe who genuinely seems to think the same way you do, which is REALLY cool, especially for a game released in nineteen fucking ninety eight. narratively, though, there are symbols upon symbols upon symbols to be picked apart in this fight alone. there's the obvious metaphor of fighting onesself--representative of an internal struggle of some kind. pair that with the set dressing for this arena and the information we already know about link, and things start to fall into place. Link was raised in a lush forest, surrounded on all sides by walls of trees that kept him safe and isolated from the world at large. the minute he left that forest, bits and pieces of his worldview started to fall apart--he learned his identity as a kokiri was a lie, experienced the hardships of being a child in hyrule, and now he's grown up and become a pawn in the fight against ganondorf, losing what little agency he had along with the ability to return to his home in kokiri forest. He finds himself in this illusion room, with a shadow version of himself waiting to attack him, clearly indicating that this room is representative of his state of mind. an endless, desolate landscape stretching out into infinity. no walls to keep him safe, no cover at all save for that one single, ROTTING TREE in the middle. This tree is a symbol of link's mental state. (my evidence for this one spans across a couple games but just trust me when i say this interpretation is grounded in reality it would just take too long to explain) and the tree is not looking good. it is dying. and from this dying tree springs a reflection of himself that link must fight to progress. I think there's an obvious message that's being conveyed here: link regrets leaving kokiri forest. he regrets the way he's been used, the hard truths he has had to learn about the world since he left. He is still mentally nine years old, and as a child he still yearns to return to that safety he was promised in kokiri forest despite knowing that it's no longer there for him to return to. Dark link is representative of all link's fear and regret and turmoil surrounding his destiny and what has been done to him over the last seven years. Because this is a video game, he is able to physically fight those feelings, to defeat the reflection of himself that torments him and walk out of that room at peace, having faced his fears and confronted his true feelings. Narratively, this battle is representative of the ongoing internal struggle link is grappling with over the course of this segment of gameplay, and shows the player how link must overcome those feelings of fear and inadequacy in order to gain the power to defeat ganon.

now we finally come to the ending segment of the game. this is where the lore gets a little bit convoluted and trips some people up. if you're not a lore slave you can basically ignore the triforce thing. the only affect it has on the narrative is that it gives ganondorf a reason to need both link and zelda, since they have the other two pieces of the powerful relic he's after. this is why he kidnaps zelda and taunts link to come rescue her instead of just like. hunting them both for sport in the wilds of hyrule.

the final battle with ganon is the culmination of all your efforts throughout the game. in the leadup to it, the final dungeon reminds you of this by having each of its rooms be a mini-version of one of the previous six temples you completed in the second half of the game. once you finish this final dungeon, you're able to get into the castle. I have to mention one of my favorite design choices in this whole game here, which is the fact that the background music in the castle gets louder the closer you get to the final room, and when you finally get there it's revealed that ganondorf was playing it the whole time. the details in this game make me crazy they're all so well-done. anyways. to discuss this battle we first need to discuss a crucial character who i realize i've forgotten to mention this ENTIRE time somehow: navi.

I love navi. i hate the way she became a joke among fans. this is not the point of this post. the point is that narratively, navi is one of the only GOOD adult figures we see in the entire game. (one could argue that she isn't an adult, but she takes on a guiding and mentor-like role for link so i consider her one despite some of her more childish mannerisms.) Navi is the one character who has been at link's side since the very beginning, the only consistent good influence on his life. the only adult mentor who hasn't somehow tried to fuck him over or manipulate him somehow. She is INTEGRAL to his survival through all the crazy bullshit he gets caught up in. the game makes her importance clear to the player in two ways: the first, obviously, is that she's the tutorial character--she tells you where to go, what to do, explains mechanics and puzzles, etc. The second, and the detail that's gonna be super important in our discussion of the final battle, is that she's tied to the game's targeting mechanic. It's subtle enough that I actually didn't notice it my first time around UNTIL this final battle, but every time you target an enemy to attack them (which with the way the camera movement is designed in this game is basically a required element of combat) navi flies to their weak spot and hovers there, which is the in-game explanation for what targeting is--navi is showing link the monsters' weak spots. in the first phase of the final battle with ganondorf, he erects a forcefield which prevents navi from entering the battlefield, removing the player's ability to target completely.

i absolutely LOVE this battle in terms of both gameplay and narrative. removing the targeting mechanic is a genuine handicap that makes the battle genuinely difficult for the player, and narratively it serves to remind you of the importance of navi, a positive adult influence, in link's life. without her, dealing damage is so much more difficult, but as soon as you have her back the battle becomes super intuitive and you're able to strategize much more effectively. Eventually, you deal enough damage to get navi back and flee the castle with the princess, before making one final stand against Ganon, a mutated beast-form of ganondorf. with navi by your side, his massive weakness becomes easily targetable, and you're able to defeat and seal him for good.

the end-credits scene of the game shows link time-traveling back to his nine-year-old self, before any of the events of the game have come to pass, and re-entering hyrule castle to warn nine-year-old zelda about what is to come. this is a time paradox, i know, but i LOVE this ending thematically. As I mentioned extensively earlier, link and zelda's stories are both representative of the way trauma robs you of childhood. they were both stripped of their chance to be children and grow up and come of age due to what happened with ganondorf. Allowing link to go back and prevent those events from ever occurring is a promise of healing. it's a promise that he and zelda will be able to reclaim the childhoods that were stolen from them by war and by adults who wanted to use them as pawns in it. it's a reclamation of the agency that these characters have been consistently denied throughout their stories. it's. a good ending. it's a really good ending. I like it a lot.

So uhhh wow that was a lot! what it comes down to is that i think oot is a story a ton of people can relate to. being a kid with responsibility but no agency and longing to be an adult, but then growing up and wanting nothing more than to return to the childhood you lost... that's something that really resonates with me, at least. and yeah oot has a lot of quirks and convoluted story and stuff but at its core it's a really beautiful coming-of-age that deals REALLY well with trauma and childhood and growing up!! tldr it's just. a genuinely incredible story and it means a LOT to me lol

[minecraftbookshelf]

Mistakes Are Made Chapter One Dialogue Breakdown

This was hard to make it turns out. A combination of "how do i format this" and trying to comprehensively summarize the thought processes and decisions going on. I think this works though.

Honestly, this sort of thing would probably work a lot better as like, a live conversation but we work with what we've got XD

I won't be including every bit of dialogue from the chapter but it will be most of them.

Disclaimer that this isn't a "How To" or any kind of "you should do things this way" this is just an explanation of what I put into my writing, and dialogue specifically. Also that I write in limited first person most of the time, so in a way, all the narration can be considered dialogue and as examples of character voice.

This is also only the first part of a long story that is intended to a) be re-readable and b) involve a lot of discovery as the story progresses, so a lot of the decisions I made are based off of things that will come up/be revealed later in the series. I will be talking about those, sometimes with no helpful explanation, sorry XD

I'm using color coding to specify what parts I'm talking about at any given time, so hopefully that helps.

This is going to be a long, wordy post, its entire point is to be an insight into the intentionality and consideration that goes into writing dialogue for me, if this isn't something you're interested in, absolutely pass it by. It will also likely "take some of the magic out of it" for some people. But I like to think that it might also add a bit more magic to it for others. So here we go!

On with the show behind the scenes! [AO3 Link to the Chapter] if you want to follow along there with more context to the selections.

"Hello, Jimmy!" He manages to clamber out of the fountain without tripping and falling flat on his face at least. He splashes Katherine in the process, where she is hovering off to the side but he can't really be bothered to worry about that. All he can manage to do is stare at Sausage's smirking face. "Hello, Jimmy!" Katherine's greeting is much less mocking

Starting off with the very first dialogue of the chapter, which doesn't occur until a few paragraphs in and then proceeds to be the exact same line said by two different characters.

This is one of the times that I am heavily relying on the fact that I am writing fanfiction and these greetings are words that we hear the characters in question (Sausage and Katherine) say multiple times. So I don't go into much detail with dialogue tags, counting on the reader to fill that in themselves. Even if they/you aren't imagining the exact tones I had in mind its a fairly easy extrapolation that these are said in wildly different tones. The emphasis on Sausage's is to imply the more mocking/antagonistic tone, helped along by the mention of his expression, but can also just convey that its louder and more emotive (As Katherine is trying very hard to be OfficialTM in this chapter) Also describing her greeting as "less mocking" helps fill in the appropriate tone for Sausages retroactively.

"What is he doing here?" He jerks his chin at Sausage, who is still giggling like a child. He sees Jimmy looking and grins at him, all teeth. Behind the mask, Jimmy bares his own teeth and takes some comfort in the knowledge that he has more of them; and they are sharper.

This is the first instance of Jimmy's inhuman body language being used as an extension of the dialogue/conversation between the characters. The use of teeth as a threat being a hybrid trait.

Sausage's smile is also part of this, something that isn't actually said in this chapter but will be demonstrated later on is that, as the ruler of a kingdom with a heavy hybrid population, Sausage knows this and his own body language is chosen accordingly.

Sausage keeps giggling and Jimmy can barely hear it beneath the roar in his ears. He leans down to try and whisper into the faerie queen's ear. "I really need your alliance right now, Katherine." He hopes his desperation doesn't show in his voice. She gives him a reproving look that throws him right back to his brief time spent in a classroom. "I'm allied with everyone, Jimmy. You know that."

This is the first example of really incorporating distinct character voices into the dialogue. I'm a liberal user of italics and in this case I'm using them to indicate emphasis where the ccs tend to stress their words to encourage assigning that voice to the dialogue itself. These are also, if not direct quotes from canon, very similar to actual things the ccs and their cubitos have said so it isn't exactly what I would consider heavy lifting.

Jimmy at this point is still fully informal. He's surprised and he's talking privately to a friend.

This is also more natural dialogue from Katherine, whose exasperation with her friend is partly overcoming her attempts to be Formal Faerie Queen.

I'm trying to keep the early dialogue fairly simple and close to canon voices because that way I can transition slowly and naturally into slightly different voices that suit the atmosphere while also preserving their more casual voices as the way that they talk when they are more comfortable and in less official settings. Setting up the contexts for different manners of speech is a big thing in this chapter overall.

"He invaded the Swamp," Jimmy hisses, his ear-fins flaring, ignoring the shudder down his spine from her use of his Name, even in part. "He crossed our borders. Again. He's threatened war." He's no longer whispering by the end, standing to his full height, shoulders back, sword hand by his shoulder. "And according to him, you've threatened it right back!"

Another instance of emphasis on Jimmy's inhuman body language.

This bit is actually more about Katherine than Jimmy. It does show a bit of Jimmy's sensitivity to magic but more than that, it incorporates Katherine's willingness to invoke her own flavor of threats, even in casual conversation with friends.

This is the first real deviation from canon dialogue in the entire chapter. This is the blending point where I'm taking the characters voices and using them myself instead of just channeling the pre-existing ones. The emphasis for this was important to me to try and keep it Jimmy's voice saying the words.

The body language here is a physical representation of Jimmy's shift from more informal speech to a more tense and emotionally and politically fraught situation.It's also the transition of Jimmy taking this from a private conversation to a more public one, now in earshot of both Sausage and Katherine's guards and staff. He's beginning to speak more as The Codfather than Jimmy and his physical stance is the biggest indication of that.

This is Katherine's last "private conversation" line and is, again, indicative of her frustration with her friends and the situation they have put themselves and everyone else in. It's a fairly sharp statement, geared to indicate that she is not really on Jimmy's side here. ("all sides" = "no sides" and a part of Katherine knows that, even if she refuses to admit it out loud, mostly because it is a role she has trapped herself in and can't leave.)

Sausage recovers quickly and shakes out the fur lining of his coat. "Is it just me or does it smell fishy in here, now?" "Sausage," Katherine looks disapprovingly back over her shoulder. "That's rude." "Oh," Sausage blinks at them both, "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't realize."

Jumping ahead a bit we're in the "polite conversation because political masks" phase of dialogue.

Sausage is Not Being Polite. This is his attempt at "polite rudeness" but he's not very subtle in general so its blatant enough for Katherine to call him out on it. It's also a continuation of Sausage speaking more informally in general. He has something of an upper hand in the situation, and an abundance of bravado, and that is reflected in the way he talks. (Sausage just also has a very distinct voice in general that is already leant towards melodrama which works very well for the au's setting as a whole)

His apology is also disingenuous. In retrospect I should have probably used some italics or some other indicator to help convey that. (I might go back and edit something in. I do that sometimes on AO3. Major edits get notes made at the chapter end but minor fixes happen a lot.) He makes the "apology" and that connects Jimmy to his original statement, even if it hadn't been blatantly obvious.

"Oh, this one is new!" Sausage immediately changes the subject, pointing at one of the skulls hanging on the wall of the hall. It's some kind of middling-sized land animal...a sheep maybe? with poppies filling the eye sockets and woven in a crown, there are delicate lines of gold painted across the surface of the bleached bone. Katherine beams, her irritation at the rudeness forgotten (or at least set aside, fae never truly forget breaches of etiquette) "It is! It's a gift from a childhood friend," she looks fondly upon the skull for a moment. "We've been reconnecting lately." Sausage nods sagely, "It is always good to spend time with your friends." "It is," Katherine's ears twitch and her wings flutter briefly before she resumes walking. "Which is why we are going to fix this."

This is a slightly better attempt from Sausage at maintaining political etiquette by complimenting the host. A distraction and a peace offering.

And this is the first mention of Scott in the chapter, in what I am now realizing (it was not intended that way but here we go) is a context that kind of foreshadows his role of peace offering. It also is an establishing line for Katherine and Scott's relationship, as well as a nod to their short-lived plushie business (my beloved) from canon.(And the adaptation of it that exists in the au, which will come up later in Katherine's backstory at the very least.)

Sausage is being ingratiating here. It's a kind of wink wink nudge nudge "we should be friends and you should do what I want" moment.

Katherine knows what he is doing. This is also an incorporation of Katherine's inhuman characteristics, though a bit more subtly, specifically because this is Jimmy's pov and he is neither familiar enough with her mannerisms to break down exactly what they mean the way his own are, or unfamiliar enough with them to register them as odd and worth commenting on.

And then we have the POV switch to Xornoth

The entirety of Xornoth's external, out-loud dialogue is one single line, but the internal dialogue is their narration of the situation at hand. Ft. "helpful" commentary from Exor.

Xornoth's voice is arguably the trickiest part of the entire chapter as it is the part with the least canon basis. Xornoth is a character I am functionally building from scratch, given that the majority of their canon appearances are arguably as much Exor as they are Xornoth. (at least in the context of this AU)

Xornoth's canon voice (on a purely literal level) is "Scott Smajor with a script and a voice changer" and, on the occasions they are on screen together, "someone else with a script and a voice changer", and then the single epilogue bit.

So I'm working with somewhat stilted, formal speech and a tendency for dramatic declarations.

For this first chapter there was actually a bit more effort put into characterizing Exor, as, despite it being in their pov, the majority of the Xornoth characterization is happening in Chapter Two. (which is also mostly from their pov)

Honestly, this is already really long, I'll probably do the dialogue in the second part of the chapter as a part two, but I do want to put a compilation of Exor's commentary down here to talk about.

I opted to make Exor's dialogue bold instead of italics both to distinguish it from Xornoth's own internal dialogue and to emphasize how unavoidable it is for Xornoth. It's not something they can truly ignore, its too loud in their head.

Meaningless frivolity.

Disparaging commentary on the priorities of the other emperors and Jimmy in particular, leaning into one that Xornoth themself is inclined to agree with.

Do not pretend such reluctance. I see the truth.

Denying Xornoth's knowledge of themself in favor of asserting their own.

You are still only a student. And you will be so long as you refuse to take what is rightfully ours.

Exor's goal is and always has been (as long as Xornoth as known them) world domination. This is his most blatant statement of it, coupled with a disparaging comment towards Xornoth's own authority.

Like a fish on a hook.

Dehumanization with a side of violent imagery.

They are going to hurt themselves, trying that hard to utilize what little intelligence they have.

General scorn towards the intelligence and competence of the other emperors.

If we pinned her wings to the wall like a butterfly and made her watch, that would phase her. If we gutted him like a fish he'd squeal so nicely.

Violence. Rather graphic, worded in a way to make Xornoth/The Reader paint a stronger visual image to accompany it. These are the ones that both Exor (in-story) and I (out of story) designed to have a stronger impact. For Exor its about sowing thoughts in Xornoth's mind and having them doubt themself, for me its about really conveying Exor's intentions.

Rip them all to pieces, give the farmer the fight she wants.

This is a half-step back into a more friendly-aligned bit. Pearl is Xornoth's friend. A war would make her happy! Pearl is not Xornoth's biggest weakness, but she is one and Exor takes as much advantage of that as he can.

Wheat fields burn so easily, all it would take is a single spark in the right place and all of Mythland would be in flames. Carefully, carefully, Xornoth sets their book down on the table beside them and places their hands in their lap. Katherine will stop allowing them to borrow her books if they start spontaneously combusting them. Hopefully she doesn't notice the slightly singed cover.

Arson yay!

With the previous comments designed to rile Xornoth up the invocation of fire is a deliberate reference on my part to Xornoth's powers (with the follow up in the next paragraph) and on Exor's part is a provocation towards losing control/making it harder to stay in control of their powers.

Why do you consistently choose to prove your incompetence.

Even gods that crave violence can be disappointed.

this was equal parts chosen to add to the overall comedy of that exact moment and as a final nod to the way that, while he spends a lot of time tearing down other people in Xornoth's head, he also puts a lot of time into tearing down Xornoth themself.

-

I'm going to leave it there for now, if just because of length. I can come back and make a part two for Xornoth and the other emperors during the second part of the chapter later.

[loonela]

I'm currently behind on typing up my current progress on Mirror Souls so I decided to write an alt POV! Life's been really shitty lol and I gotta take it out on fictional characters.

I took issue with Itadori's willingness to go along with the prank on Kugisaki and Fushiguro. That's the only point in S1 I wish didn't happen because it felt OOC. So like any good writer in denial, I'm changing it. Plus, daemons change A Lot! I want to bring out the emotional intelligence Itadori shows from the start. He does what he feels is right, and he's perceptive of when people aren't being truthful to him. He just needs his experience and wisdom to catch up. His teacher, in comparison, hides behind walls higher than China's. How does it feel to be perceived past those walls? How does Gojo navigate the tendency for daemons to reveal more than what is wanted? They're questions that Gojo can't even answer himself despite me being nice and giving him better mental health than canon.

So, I've been writing the alt POV of Gojo facing Itadori's death in the Curse Womb arc. I don't think it'll be in his POV, and I may never end up posting this in full, but I like sharing snippets and I like yapping about my writing. This is just after Itadori dies and the other first years return to Jujutsu Tech.

Some references of note:

Getou is still alive. SaShiSu my beloved.

Yonezawa Kiho (OC), is an upperclassmen of Gojo Gojo was stated to be overseas rescuing a grade 1 sorcerer, implied to be dead. Kiho is that sorcerer. She's touted as the next Kusakabe in New Shadow Style, focusing on polearms.

Gojo and Hakushin have a pretty mangled bond. It's not broken, but heavy damage was done at some point.

Shoko typically heals daemons either by forming a bridge or Shinobu directly heals them. If the damage isn't severe, Shinobu usually heals.

My interpretation of Six Eyes has them as metaphorical, but Gojo can send individual Eyes out on specific areas. They also have a presence that can be detected if he's not careful. Normally, he keeps an Eye on Shoko for both of their sake.

Shoko's RCT is vastly expanded on. She can read positive energy feedback, and her energy levels are hard to see because she's constantly converting cursed -> positive. There's more too.

Sorcerers can "share" energy with each other in some cases.

Hakushin paces between Satoru's legs, agitation working its way through both of them until he's almost choking in their cursed energy. Their shared energy toes the boundary of tolerable and suffocating even without failure choking him. Itadori Yuuji, dead because of hasty measures taken. Because someone targeted Kiho and he has to keep her alive both for his own selfish reasons and because she is good and kind and a force of change where Satoru can't reach. Because a mission to send three first years into a curse womb is completely within the moral lines that the higher ups are willing to jump like a fucking skip rope, because they dislike Satoru and the easiest way to him now is either Shoko or his students. Because he isn't enough, never has been, and never will be

"I'll tell Shoko you're thinking that way," his soul presses into him more, and Satoru stiffens in response, withdrawing Six Eyes into himself. "We both know it's the higher ups that want these children dead that have sole responsibility for this." Right.

"They targeted Megumi and Kugisaki too, right?" another voice chimes in. Hakushin stoops to greet Shinobu, even as the other daemon avoids the touch and just returns with a head bob. "I healed Kugisaki's daemon first, she will be here soon. Don't want to accidentally surge by touching you, sorry Hakushin." 

"Will she need my energy?" It's pure habit that has Satoru asking the question, the most careful extension of Hakushin's energy that he's ever felt weaving over to Shoko just down the hall. For all that Six Eyes gifted him and him alone, not his soul, he's never been able to sense Shoko's true energy, just like he can't sense her mother and grandmother's. He's forced to ping her the same way she does him, just much more clumsily.

"She should be okay, but you know us. Just like we know you." Shinobu turns his eyes on Satoru especially, and he thanks the blindfold for hiding his vulnerabilities. "Come down to earth, you two." 

"Already here, Shinobu. No need to worry."

The door flies open, the click of heels following. "We do anyways."

[bluegekk0]

I’m sorry to bring this up if it makes you feel unoriginal but I love how many troupe headcanons we share

-Divine is the costume designer

-Brumm has feelings for the master

-Grimm cannot cook to save his life (Brumm, a seasoned chef, has actually banned him from the kitchen on account of him burning one too many recipes) and only knows how to make tea

It’s just nice to know I’m not the only one with these thought processes lol

Though it does make me curious. What species of bugs do you headcanon Brumm and Divine to be, and where would they be from if this was our Earth? Also, do Divine and Leg Eater still get together in this AU, and if so, does Leg Eater still… meet his rather unfortunate end?

Oh no don't worry, it actually feels really nice that people have similar headcanons! I know Brumm having feelings for Grimm is pretty common but the other two are such a fun coincidence! I love that.

Something about Divine to me just screams "she loves fashion" (maybe it's the fancy mask?). And rewatching The Hunger Games, Effie's character gave me even more inspiration for my interpretation of her. So I headcanon her as quite eccentric and flamboyant, very much a perfectionist with an eye for beauty. She wouldn't be as shallow or manner focused as Effie, though, I do imagine she has a bit of a snark to her. But that bright, energetic personality, and her impressive talent for costume design, definitely made her very popular in the Troupe. She's very involved in the costume making process from start to finish, she wants to make sure each Grimmkin gets a costume that fits them perfectly, and she'll contribute during the sewing process, instructing her crew and assisting them in any trouble.

Brumm's feelings for Grimm were initially just a small nod to the relatively popular ship of these two, but it evolved over time into something that explores both of their personalities to a slightly larger extent. It emphasizes Brumm's loyalty and commitment, but also implies that deep down he wants something more. He lost his family before Grimm invited him to the Troupe, and one of those dead loved ones could have been his partner. Perhaps there were similarities between that partner and Grimm which eventually made Brumm have feelings for him. But then you might wonder: how much of it is genuine, and is it possible that he's just projecting his loss onto Grimm? I doubt he knows the answer himself, but at least Grimm was clear that he wasn't interested and spared Brumm the trouble of figuring it out. So he got the confession out of his system, and was able to sort his feelings out and move on. Well, at least mostly. I think he does still feel attraction towards Grimm, Brumm's subtle glances at Grimm's body whenever he lifts his cloak tell you that much, but that's nothing new for Grimm. He made his body desirable on purpose, so he's used to it, and in his eyes those stares don't mean anything. But at the very least Brumm realized that he needed to move on from his feelings towards Grimm, so those glances aren't as emotionally driven as they were in the past. Just a quick look to admire, that's all. Or so he says.

I made a post about Grimm being terrible at cooking already, so I won't repeat myself. But that is when our headcanons differ a little bit. While Brumm is definitely better at cooking, I wouldn't call him a seasoned chef. The Troupe has its own dedicated cooks so he doesn't visit the kitchen that often.

---

As for the second half of the ask. I mentioned before that I don't see the "bugs" in the AU as actual bugs (insects). To me they're just fictional species, though some of them do resemble real life animals (bugs or otherwise). So neither Brumm or Divine are an existing real life species of bug, though Divine does take heavy inspiration from termite queens (though she isn't actually meant to be a termite queen in my eyes, shes still a fictional creature). Brumm? He's definitely more mammalian in my eyes, maybe a bit bear like? Or perhaps he'd resemble something like a badger a little bit.

I'm not sure how to answer the Earth question, especially since, again, they are a fictional creature species to me. But maybe I could mention what kind of regions they're originally from.

Divine would be from a warmer region, maybe something resembling the mediterranean climate. Warm and dry summers, and cool and rainy winters. She's definitely from far away relative to Hallownest, Grimm would travel the whole world back then so that is why the two first met. She doesn't handle the Hallownest cold very well, you'll very rarely see her outside during the colder months, and she wears a lot of outfits with furs.

Brumm is from a colder region, something like taiga. His home land definitely had a lot of forests and long, cold winters, which made him adapt very quickly to the climate in Hallownest. He's covered in fur similarly to Grimm, though his isn't as much for show as it is to protect him from harsh temperatures. Consequently, his home isn't that far from Hallownest.

---

And lastly, no, I decided that Divine and Leg Eater don't meet. There is a lot about my Divine that I changed from canon for personal preference reasons. The charm making process in particular is... A bit too much for me personally hahaha. And I headcanon my Divine as gay, so she wouldn't be interested. Lucky for Leg Eater haha.

[arklayraven]

Once again feel I didn't get all my thoughts properly out but hope I got enough out to make this work and all...

Also I wasn't sure if to even post this now...but I will for at least one person out there who might feel same/similar like me on this all. So they can know they aren't alone.

Also this isn't a post made to start some arguments. I'm just stating my personal feelings and thoughts over this matter. If you try to argue with me over this all. I will ignore for honestly I don't have the energy to deal with some people now.

Here's another, and more in depth talk about my feelings over the night/event when Asmo and Solomon made their first pact together.

If you wonder when I spoke about this more before...I have a post with other posts linked on it, to my past rants and such over Solomon and his actions. lol

As well this post is to give some explanation as to why some of us Asmo stans and such don't like Solomon. Since some seem to be confused why we don't like him, or just don't understand...

Warning, there will be talks/mentions of: Depression, alcohol or being drunk / intoxicated, manipulation, abuse, implied nonconsensual acts, mentions of SA, etc. Proceed with caution.

Expect NB and og OM spoilers. You have been warned.

Now before we got Nightbringer...We got Asmo's side of the story of the night Solomon and him made their pact...To some, it didn't seem anything much to look into or think about. To others tho, red flags were going off...

Here's Asmo's personal recount of that night from og OM:

That's what Asmo tells us, and what he can recall...For he states it himself he "found" that he made a pact with Solomon next morning...Meaning he was so intoxicated, he couldn't remember the details of the whole night, and how they made their pact...

Now some won't see much issues from this. Some will say Asmo seems fine and happy with this all. Which can look true yeah...But be aware this is Asmo we're talking about here...If you know Asmo well. He's the type to hide his true negative feelings away from others to keep everyone else happy. Even from himself to keep himself from being hurt and dragged back into a deep heavy depression.

And just with Asmo's side of the story...It comes off like Solomon was very sweet and caring towards him that night right?

...Sadly...Solomon didn't see it that way...

Here's Solomon's side of recounting that night with Asmo from Nightbringer:

With no real shame in his actions. Solomon tells us how their encounter went in his POV. As well how he took clear advantage of Asmo in the moment. While Asmo was drunk and depressed, which clearly put him in a vulnerable weak emotional and mentally state.

Now this was the final straw for most of us who now hate Solomon or always were wary about him...Because of how casually he says this all...With a smile too, mind you...

(Yet some say this is the face of a man who 'regrets' his actions over that night...Please. *rolls eyes*)

I'm sure some people will say or already do say "But Asmo had it coming." or "Asmo is a demon though so its fine." or even "But Asmo did this and that--" ...Listen...Yes, Asmo is a demon. And he's done some messed up stuff in the past too that he's not free from backlash over and all. But just because he's one, and did some inexcusable actions too, doesn't excuse Solomon of any and all as well suddenly. That's pretty bias and hypocritical if anything, especially if you bring up all the bad things Asmo's has done to defend Solomon. But try to avoid admitting to the facts what Solomon done to Asmo wasn't good either.

Demon or not. Solomon took advantage of someone. In their intoxicated, mentally and emotionally impaired state...He manipulated them and used them, to make a pact with them. To only get more power, control over another demon he sees as a tool, and to just get closer to Lucifer...Who he's very fixed on trying to make a pact with.

Then there's the fact, that if you really try to think deep on the details, and what could of happened...Asmo was most likely taken advantage of in not just mind...but body too...Some will say Asmo might of had a play in that night too with his charm...But if that were really the case...Why didn't Solomon bring that up or mention about not recalling much like Asmo did? It's most likely he did little to no drinking himself, to just get Asmo so more drunk than he already was. So that Asmo couldn't even think or stand properly...To jump in to take advantage of him in his weaken moment. Which Solomon admits he did fyi.

And I feel Solomon might of had a enchanted item or such on hand to prevent such forms of charm/hypnosis on him. Since this is Solomon after all...I'm sure he's encountered plenty of demons before Asmo to have experience with this stuff now. So came prepared and ready in case he were to come across such a situation again...

(If there's proof Solomon was effect by Asmo's charm that night. Then feel free to add it so this part is corrected.)

Just the thought of Asmo in such a weakened state like that in Solomon's grasp and control though...To end it with Asmo waking up, not being able to recall most of the night. But to learn he made a pact with Solomon somehow during it all...Just is so unsettling to me...

And it's only proof, even without much details to tell us what exactly went down...By just what we know now alone, and with Solomon not showing much care and all towards demons. Asmo was most likely taken advantage of in that nature...Just so Solomon can get what he wanted in the end from him...And even if he didn't do anything that far by nature...It still doesn't excuse he still took advantage of Asmo to get that pact without real consent...One way or another...No real consent was involved...

That's the differences between Solomon and MC I feel here...Consent...Depending on how you play of course...But for this moment. I will say MC, in my personal experience and playthrough. Sees consent as important when it comes to pacts and using the pacts power.

Solomon doesn't really see consent as important, when it comes to making pacts, and using his pact power and control over demons...While for MC, it is important and vital when it comes to forming trust, and a strong bond between themself and the demons.

And this is where I find this all quite funny? Or hypocritical more to say...I've seen some people say consent is so important to them when it comes to MC and the demons...Yet when they come across a clear case of Solomon, not using proper consent on Asmo. Suddenly...It's ignored or not seen as that important or huge.

Now I can guess why this is the case...and the fandom pretty much proved it very well with how some reacted to Asmo's horrible treatment for his bday this year...

Asmo's not very liked in the fandom for a few reasons, and by the devs...But mainly its because of poor writing and little care over Asmo from the devs. As well people not understanding Asmo's character well enough to like him or care about him...Yet I'm sure if you were to place someone like Lucifer or Mammon in Asmo's role that night...Then automatically people will be very upset and drop their love for Solomon fast. lol

Then there's the fact, some just don't care what Solomon does. He's their favorite man. So what if he's done some fucked up stuff? You still love him. I get it. The morally corrupt guys can be hot in fiction. lol

But I won't lie...Seeing some excuse Solomon's actions towards Asmo...It makes me upset...Especially since for me personally. I was a victim of SA and the such...So this is why this stuff matters much to me personally, and to some others who relate on this area over this topic. As well why I feel more care, love and a desire to protect Asmo now. Even more now...And why I feel a huge dislike for Solomon often now...and just inability to ever forgive him now and trust him...Since some acts, like what he's done...just are never forgivable...

Then there's the fact...This isn't Solomon's first time taking advantage of Asmodeus in a weak mentally emotional state...He does this again in Nightbringer. Now to avoid diving deep on the spoilers. I will just link you to my post talking about my personal thoughts/reaction about that lesson. If you are fine with the spoilers. Then you can check it out.

Now without saying much on the spoilers here but to still talk about that lesson/event...I will say Solomon knew what he was doing in that moment in NB...and sadly Asmo was taken advantage of again in the moment...So this was just another add on why some of us dislike Solomon...Because he clearly didn't learn from his actions in the past that clearly were wrong. Or did know but just didn't care. Especially if he decided to do similar again in the attempt to get what he wanted from Asmo...

When it comes to demons, Solomon feels no guilt over his actions towards them...And sees past successful experiences, no matter how cruel and demonic in nature they may be. To be seen as easy ways to gain the power and things he needs/wants to get closer to his goal...

Also the fact some tried to say the way Solomon handled this new form of events with Asmo in NB. Was a means of 'atonement' from him over what he did to Asmo in the past, just is funny to me...It's clear now he didn't do this out of means to make up for his past actions. Solomon just doesn't care how far he goes now when it comes to using demons for his own selfish gains. Asmo was manipulated and used again. Simple as that.

Time to conclude this...This all isn't said and to end in the hopes you all who stan Solomon, will now hate him or such. Honestly I can see some being like "I'm gonna love him even more now" just out of spite. Which is whatever honestly...But I just am writing this all out in hopes you get a understanding why some of us don't like Solomon. Since some seem very confused or can't understand why we do...So I hope this helps shines some light on our reasons, and there's more respect on those who personally don't like Solomon for our own personal serious reasons.

Thanks for reading this all through if ya did, and for gaining some understanding from us now if you did.

[itsbebebrainrotting]

Rant incoming, sorry!!

Do they even know WHY they are fighting and killing??

Im still trying to figure out why tubbo and bad thought to attack red first and then yell revenge when red retaliated. Like, why?? (I'm crow and red main so I probably won't watch the others for the lolz) Chaotic angst energy.

And people keep saying because of Dapper and what Dapper said. And I'm like "what?" Because with that same logic/energy qPhilza can say the same if decided to do the same. "Chayanna said to protect Tallulah no matter what- so Ima kill everyone in sight for whatever reason." That sounds crazy. Right? (Is it just me??)

Like we(their little community/family) been talking and communicating all this time why now does it go out the window? because some random guy who doesnt like us said so? (Quackity did warn them in Brazil tho)

We know the fed dont like us and can't be trusted so why are we not having that same energy towards this guy?

Like I get it, I do. Things are on the line or so it seem but why aren't we actually thinking things through?? Talking?? Coming up with a plan to get everyone and the eggs home. Do we not care for all life anymore?

Its about to be Day 3 and I am so drained from Day 1. Like Charlie's voice, I'm struggling now. My soul is heavy as a red pov.

And yes we won Day 2 but everything has consequences... like please..

I- I just want them to talk for more than a couple seconds.. minutes before thoughts of killing off rip..

*peepoHands*

(I hope it was okay to come to you)

Dont worry about the rant! I like hearing other peoples opinions on things and dont get many asks often so anythings appreciated.

As someone whose main povs are team blue i still understand you entirely but also can explain a couple things (in a similar ranty form lol):

First of all as to why they were killing: I think on day one the competitive nature of the event was at the forefront of blues mind. Bad had been told by his son (who, remember, he literally kidnapped a worker to save) to do anything to win even if it hurt others. Which honestly does imply hostility a bit more than chayannes message. Tubbo also wants chayanne and tallulah (and richarlyson) back like theyre his own children (and has definitely been over excited and trying to prove himself as leader of blue so is being more competitive for his own pride). They were thrust into this situation with all that in mind and just wanted to win by any means, or at least thats the vibe i got.

None of them fully understood the rules of the event either. They tragically fell to the tragic mcyt curse of not reading instructions. They didnt even think about the cursed team until i think it was slime who said he thought red was cursed at which point niki insisted (and still insists) she doesnt think there is a cursed team. Tubbo thought the cursed team changed daily, if you want further proof that rules were not at the forefront of their mind. They just wanted to win since that was what the eggs had said to do. Of course now ccs are more aware of the rules they are keeping them in mind but no one seems to be proposing full teamwork yet.

Funny enough, i think ive mentioned it in a post before but red being their target on day 1 was entirely on accident. Bad killed slime first under the impression he was on green and then continued to go for his team because they happened to be not too far. From what ive gathered, green was bloodthirsty but struggling to find the other teams so thats why blue and red originally started fighting. As for getting angry at retaliation? I think thats just competitive spirit getting in the way.

The whole thing was slightly frustrating personally from a viewer pov because im exactly with you in the fact that they should be talking. They should be figuring out the cursed team. They should be boosting the cursed teams stats. But they didnt understand that and instead went hostile immediately due to the newness of the whole thing.

Even yesterday bad was considering killing red and i was a little frustrated. I get that he was annoyed (if u dont know yesterday blue grinded global tasks but were barely gaining percentage compared to etoiles - at one point they handed smth in and got like 1% - and bad thought kills may have helped them a bit) but blue didnt need to win day 2! If anything that wouldve been detrimental to them considering the cursed team is still unknown (but bbh thinks blues cursed so...). Eventually he settled on bargaining with them by offering something in return for a kill but never got a chance to because he ran out of time. Still, the suggestion was a bit frustrating at the time as someone who was seeing red having a terrible time from liveblogs.

I definitely consider most of day one out of character, as there is no way in hell the characters shouldve been acting the way they did considering all they were supposed to know. Even if qbbh would do anything for dapper he definitely wouldnt outright hurt his friends or risk the other eggs chances of survival. (Also this entirely broke cellbits current arc of being very agressive considering how badly hes been beat down this event.)

Even just hearing about red on both days was draining for me. The one reason im not vodwatching them is that i could feel the draining vibes from liveblogs alone so i cant image what it must be like to main them and while im happy they won, their strategy today was a lot more aggressive compared to everyone else who was trying to tone it down a bunch so i fear for the next few days on everyones povs as the aftermath of that plays out.

Thankfully ive heard bagi wants to unite the teams and bad and baghera discussed getting a group together to theorise about the cursed team so maybe between the three of them things can start moving in the right direction and return to being in character and communicating. Todays the event which may not allow for anyone to unite everyone immediately but i hope they do sooner rather than later.

[arthurmargon]

LMFAOOOO it was the exact same post, it is tired, esp since dutch has been acting erratic since chapter 2, where he switches up on arthur calling him the best man he knows to a man that's going to betray him, his head injury didn't cause that, it's the paranoia because dutch knows that the law is closing in on him, and that the gang is in dire circumstances, and are living in a world that doesn't want them no more and he knows this but is refusing to accepting this and trying his damndest to fight against it.

I'm not like, denying that dutch isn't mentally ill in some way, he definitely is, though I'm not experienced and knowledgeable enough to like. know exactly what he's suffering with, other people can do it better, like pinkyberg(?) but despite this, he is still a bad person. they aren't mutually exclusive at all

his mental illness didn't cause him to take advantage of a genocide for their own benefits and leave the wapiti tribe to suffer the wrath of the military by themself, and inadvertently cause eagleflies capture and eventual death, that's just him being a bad person, his mental illness didn't make him abuse his girlfriend and try to cheat on her with a younger women, that's just him being a bad person, his mental illness didn't cause him to betray his family, that's just him being a bad person (though I will not deny it did likely play a role, it isn't the reason why he did all those things and more)

implying that his mental illness caused him to do all that just makes it worse for everybody imo

its just a lot more nuanced than that

anyway it's like. 5am and I just woke up so it's not like my best forgive me

i hope you have a good day

agree with everything you said! heavy on him not being evil or a villain because he has a mental illness—his illness just adds another layer to his incessant, greedy pursuit of riches and infamy and his delusion in thinking he can outsmart entire governments since he’s just so special.

tbfh i don’t buy the “bonked his head” excuse whatsoever like brother dutch BEEN unhinged way before the trolley accident. he doesn’t become crazier bc he hit his head… it’s bc he watched hosea get killed, lost all his money, and damn near drowned in a shipwreck in the span of 48 hours. put me in the same situation and i too would see my already terrible traits become so overwhelming that i devolve into a shell comprising the worst parts of myself. let’s lay that head bonk excuse to the grave, i am on my knees begging

[deviantartdramahub]

Noname234252: Makes the claim or implication that being banned off of certain sites is a badge of wrongdoing.

Also Noname234252: Keeps complaining certain people should be banned despite the site saying those people aren't breaking rules, as if he didn't already imply that not being banned is a sign of not having done any wrongdoing, and saying others are being falsely reported which would imply bans would not correspond with guilt.

Also Noname234252: Gets banned off of Reddit thirty times with heavy documentation, or rather his thirty comrades got banned if one is to believe him, though he himself contradicts him when in video descriptions he compares himself to a hydra whose posts will keep growing back each time he's reported.

Yeah, that's a good question to ask here, what is this place's philosophy? Is it a badge of wrongdoing?

And here I'll make my case.

A week ago, I might as well have predicted he'd act this way, going to show it's not rocket science to infer it's him who is in the wrong, and it has also been predicted he's not doing this genuinely, he's doing it for the bluff, with some hinting they're sick of him (who shouldn't, when you outright admit to just trying to find new avenues for harassment) as well as defending him in ways that imply they have no point to make and just wish to attack others, such as defending the act he and EvieJulia/Oh-my-arceus/Morothias/MagistraInferna/Jellybeanism (who I will say to take her own knights' advice about her well-documented complaints on the matter) cite as his motivation to attack others over, all while he even pulls outright peer pressure moves to inflate himself and while many who fall for his peer pressure treat bans like a game while not caring when their friends break rules on the site. His YouTuber subscriber count is also increasing after it was criticiqued but interaction on his content isn't, an infamous symptom of buying subs on YouTube to make up for losing.

It's possible that, by the time this post is read, the thread's poster will have been banned for other reasons, a precaution on any site, with the thread removed, so a Wayback of it has been archived showing the post has reached its ten day anniversary at the time of this post and the archive in question, and that Noname234252's threat to report it is itself two days old, not that nobody else has reported it and failed (and the forums have an epidemic of abortive spam that the mods are dealing with after over-appealing to it in a well-documented way, so we know they aren't just turning a blind eye). Perhaps this is all frustration about how ill DA culture has become and how that's leaking into other places which meshes with a sense of counter-obsessiveness.

To all who question his victims, this post may be linked to, because Noname234252 undeniably are attackers with nothing more than a grudge and the side effect of demonstrating the dubiousness of anyone claiming to be anonymous, not that his selfie blunder doesn't give that away, though a bigger contradiction strikes his supposed goal of awareness if his goal really was image.

In a world where he has definitely lost, he's not taking it well.

[characterswithcolorsnamesfight]

If you haven't filled the survey completely yet, can you please send in [Phenomena by Ruben Eliassen] which Azur is from among the novels? The Norwegian publisher is treating it like crap these days and print fewer and fewer copies rather than celebrating its 22nd anniversary and being grateful for it being one of the first (and best) Norwegian fantasy book series. It was the one that made people start taking the genre seriously in Norway so it'll be depressing if it just disappears..!

Cool things for it's time and still is:

The hero has a love interest, the heroine doesn't, the author has later said that she's an aroace lesbian.

A 12-year old girl becomes friends with a guy in his 20s, they do not end up together and stay friends for the rest of the series.

The author manages show don't tell in a book, and discusses the weird misogyny that was around in the 2000s rather than acting like it never happened.

While there's unfortunately some implied r**e, are the ones doing it not glorified or end up with their victims. One of the victims is a man and treated as just as terrible as the other one and is never joked about.

One tribe that were used as slaves take the cousin tribe of the tribe that kept them as slaves as their slaves, this isn't treated as okay.

Adults aren't always right.

The protagonists both have ADHD but are presented as intelligent in their own ways despite being twins.

Is just very good.

Oh sure ! This seems really promising and rather woke for a 2000s book (some of you need serious updating and should come with special warnings but we love you 2000s series)

Here's the survey for those who'd like to help ! Reminder : we're talking about Phenomena by Ruben Eliassen (Norwegian book) and Ragnarok by Odin Helgheim (Norwegian comic). All hail Norway !

(Just a thought from someone whose country has a heavy colonial past : Not sure the "ex slaves turn easily into oppressors when given power" is actually a good take since I believe the "they'll do the same to us if given the occasion/as revenge on us" was the kind of saying used to oppose the end of slavery. It doesn't mean the book doesn't have great takes or that the author and readers are racist, just that it's possibly a poor/clumsy take)

You had me at twins with different personalities ! (I'm joking, I was into it when you said fantasy from Norway and I realized I didn't know what Northern fantasy looked like as a genre) If they translate it, I'll do my best to get my twin to read the copy I'll get

Funnily enough, my favorite kid/young teen series is a French series who never had been translated which title is Phaenomen (from the Latin noun, all the chapters have a Latin title). It's about kids with different kinds of disabilities (unnamed but quite reminescent of autism and other mental or physical disorders -with a supplementary 'magical/sciency' touch but I promise no magical superhealing stuff- : dyspraxia, hypermnesia, migraines, hyperfixations, hypersensitivity to light, difficulties to communicate, anger management issues etc.) who flee the special needs type of clinic they're in and find themselves in quite a lot of trouble as they try to survive together as a makeshift family and run from some powerful Templar sect who's taken an interest in their uncommon abilities (special vision, superspeed, soul manipulation... all are the other sides of their disabilities)

It's been a while since I've last read it but I used to reread it several times a year. Some stuff in it might be problematic (ableism-wise) but I also have autistic friends who love the series too

If anyone else wants to mention childhood/teenagehood/pasthood reads not translated into English from their own countries, don't hesitate ! (Also works for movies, games and whatnot)

[shaytonalbarns]

You alright? Chapter 1

Morro and Lloyd centric fanfic I wrote out of impulse, it's available on AO3 as well!! Happy reading, stay hydrated and take care of yourself <33

Settling in on the couch after a whole day of walking around and listening to the teacher talk about formulas he couldn't possibly need in his whole entire existence, Morro found himself situated and comfortable. Quickly tossing his phone and shoving his sling bag to the side of the couch, he brings his feet up on the coffee table to at least alleviate his heavy and sore body after today's class.

Being a college student wasn't easy, he was barely passing despite working his ass off in his classes, studying in the day and working as a part-timer in a nearby convenience store in the night. He still has a shift later at 12AM. He had to somewhat pay for his apartment that he's currently staying in and his necessities while Aunt Koko paid for his college fees.

He couldn't further burden his Aunt far too much with her being a single parent whilst working a job that barely pays her half of her paycheck every month. Despite that, he still needs to catch a break and lay back once in a while. You can't really go throughout the day with a declining physical and mental health right?

With that in mind, he reaches for the remote as he lazily turns on the T.V. to add some background noise in his ear deafening silent apartment.

Unsurprised, it seems that he caught the news right on time as they report about a Garmadon attack just a few hours ago. "-in the west part of the City. FSM, aren't we thankful that the Secret Ninja Force got in time before Garmadon's forces have even started wreaking havoc. We wouldn't want to repeat last week's incident-" The reporter nervously laughs as he recalls the events of last week's disaster.

Morro sighs, being in a city that's always under attack every week just leaves its inhabitants desensitized to whatever major disaster that hits them, he guesses.

He wouldn't have to worry about himself though, being the Master of Wind and all that. He could probably cast a wind shield on him to protect himself from falling debris or just straight up shoot himself up mid-air to watch everything unfold till the Secret Ninja Forces deal with it.

 Not that he's tried though, despite having elemental powers, he never really found a reason to use them often. He hasn't even used them for anything as extreme as that, he just used it to make his casual day to day a little bit more easier. Sometimes adding more breeze to a melting hot day, gusts of wind to let the teacher's papers fly all over the room to disrupt the class, strong currents to easily mess with the cheerleader's perfectly stylized hair for amusement, (those cheerleaders always got on his nerves, specially this one kid, Chen, all with bright smiles and sending positive motivations in their cheers, despite being absolute scumbags all because they were somewhat "famous") or even to catch falling objects that's somehow knocked over by his cousin, Lloyd.

Speaking of, Lloyd hasn't visited him this entire week! As much as he wants to deny the fact, he does miss the company, SOMETIMES. Lloyd adds a strange yet lively energy to his boring, mundane and barren life.

But then again, he can't blame the kid for not visiting. He IS the son of the evil emperor, Lord Garmadon. And being associated with that guy might as well imply that you're simply given a life that's full of twists and turns, but being the son? Multiply that by a thousand.

Lloyd doesn't have it easy.

Imagine waking up with the dread of knowing that everyday is full of people out to seek and even PRAY for the kid's downfall. He has to live a life trying to survive everyday, quite literally he might add. There hasn't been a day where his little cousin wasn't covered in wounds and bruises. It's sickening to think that it was the norm to everyone, but to Lloyd, it was. He has it rough, going through grade school to high school with kids your age, full of unbalanced hormones and teenage angst, with the fact that they have to deal with Garmadon's attacks every week. All their pent up anger and hatred for their own personal lives and the evil emperor, it's all pushed and directed to one single kid that wouldn't even try to hurt a fly on purpose.

Despite all this, Lloyd never fought back, never stood up for himself, he's also given up on even trying to report his little incidents to his advisors or the authorities. Both Morro and Lloyd know that asking for help from others about his situation will get them nowhere. I mean, they've already done it countless of times already but still arrive at the same conclusion. Snarky, degrading remarks, a glare and an aggressive response ranging from them telling the boys to 'get lost' to telling them that 'they deserve what's coming to them'. Sometimes it even ended up with them with scraped knees and hurt egos.

Morro brings a hand up to pinch on his nose bridge. Thinking deeply.

He deeply cares for the teen and he'd do anything to keep him from harm's way. But he can only do so much from his busy schedule and Lloyd's daily struggles.

Plus, Lloyd's a stubborn brat, he wouldn't even acknowledge the cuts and bruises ever present whenever they agreed to hang out, as if none of the obvious signs of abuse he's been receiving from the people around him even exist.

He scoffs. There's not a single time that he's not thought about the kid whenever he tries to sit down and relax. He shouldn't be worrying this much but what can he do other than do just that? Throughout their childhood, he'd always been the one to fend themselves off from prying eyes and judgmental stares they'd get every so often. He had to do something to at least give Lloyd a break from all the negativity in his life.

But as they got older, they just got to hang out every once in a while. Either of them would visit the other whenever they had free time, usually Lloyd crashing in on his apartment. Morro's apartment WAS relatively closer to his campus so Lloyd took that opportunity to at least visit the only person that actually cared about his presence aside from his mother and Uncle Wu. The boy barely ever has acquaintances to go along with, not to mention FRIENDS. "HAH", he muses himself. Kind of pathetic really, to think they both were considered to be "loners" to society, but at least Lloyd had a reason why.

With a dejected smile, he cups his face with both of his hands. But all this brooding and overthinking was interrupted when his phone suddenly lit up, '1 New Message from Aunt Koko' , it reads. He lets his arms fall off the side.

He stares at it for a good two seconds before registering that he actually has to sit up and reach for the device on the coffee table.

With a groan, he does just that, unplugging the earphones and quickly unlocking it.

He wasn't expecting much, usually it was just messages about whether he still had spare cash with him, or if he had eaten, short messages just to check up on him in general. But sometimes, it would just be to ask if Lloyd was there in his place. The last one didn't settle with him, furrowing his brows at the thought. Checking the message, it seems that his guess was right.

"Good Evening Morro, hope I'm not bothering you. Just here to ask about if Lloyd ever dropped by at your place? I just got home but he isn't here. He hasn't called nor replied to my messages either, I'm getting worried."

A heavy sigh leaves him as he throws himself back to the couch, putting an arm across his eyes. It was 7:46pm , clearly Lloyd isn't in his apartment as of the moment. His cousin's class always ended at 3pm, there's no reason for him to be out this late. He'd usually head straight home after class, he didn't have friends to hang out with so, where was he now? And no calls? That can't be right, Morro KNEW that Lloyd was insistent in updating his mother about things.

There wasn't a time where Lloyd hadn't messaged or dialed up her mother about his whereabouts whenever they were hanging out. Even if they were crossing the street, cooking a meal or even when they were in the middle of a boss battle while playing video games. Morro said that it was "kinda lame" that he'd always message his mother about little details on everything that he was doing. But clearly, now he understood the importance of it.

Pulling his hair back, he focuses on the device on hand and replies. "Sorry, Lloyd isn't here with me. I'll go around and check if he's nearby." Quickly pressing send, he stood up and forced his phone to his pocket and darted out of the room.

With an exhausted huff, he murmurs under his breath. "Where are you Lloyd?".

[jaylleoo14]

- 🌷🌷🌷 -

DNI

❌Do not mix my content with reality. If you cannot tell between fiction and reality then I ask of you to simply not interact at all

❌ I understand if you are disturbed or bothered by dark content, but I ask you to not bash at me. Simply not interact at all, I create sfw and lighter work for those who do not enjoy such content

❌ I will not allow any negativity on here, so have some basic manners will you?

❌ No incest/bots/homophobia/transphobia/bigots (The amounts of times i've been so enraged due to the disrespect and discrimination!) General hate/ Pedophilia

❌ Blank blogs. If you dont want me to interpret you as a bot please at least have some pfp and picture or bio on your page. SOMETHING to lmk ur not a bot because if not then I will block you!

❌ I ask of you to please not trauma dump when I do not know you

To Note

❗I would like to make my blog a safe space for everyone, please dont be shy to share your little rambles, dark or wholesome I'm willing to read it!

❗ I wont be writing/drawing anything NSFW (smut) bc im a minor, so it makes me feel a little iffy knowing that. Though I am fine with making dirty/sexual jokes for the fun of it. At most it'll only either be heavily/lightly suggestive or/and implied if I ever were to write/draw anything in that area or were to include it. (I have my thirst moments too after all)

❗I really like horror, so dont be surprised if I expand to gore or the general field of horror. Sometimes i like to focus on the horror aspect more, so [said character] may or may not be an automatic yandere for that purpose

❗ I love yanderes!!! I think they are personally fun to write about and think about. But of course I love characters who aren't in the yandere themes as well (such as Miyamura or Genya)^^

❗My Blog is Multifandom. Dont expect me to only post content for only one fandom. Though asks are open and free for you to ramble!

❗ I'm a little shy in all honesty but please dont be shy to say hi<3 I'll start warming up to you if we interact often and i'm pretty friendly!

❗If you want to be mutuals please actually interact with me first before asking.

❗I am alright with being tagged in posts<3

❗ I am open to suggestions, chit chat, or your little rambles! It might help me wrack up another idea to write or draw about ^^

❗Please depict the characters as 18+ please because I usually like to write in settings where you'd be of age to attend or do such things (such as working in a specific profession or going to raves) unless stated or interpreted as otherwise.

❗I do not condone any toxic or your typical yandere traits in real life, along with a lot of immoral and dark themes. I know what im doing, I simply enjoy these themes in fiction. Do not base me as a bad person in real life because of that

❗I wish to Indulge in you to put it quite simply<3

Request Rules

✔️ As long as you can provide me a scenario/situation/idea/plot of a character I can make do with it!

✔️ Preferably limit to 5 people when asking at most!

✔️I have the right to refuse a request if I seem uncomfy/iffy/or unfamiliar with what's being requested

✔️ It would be great if you were to be specific with what you would like to request, in that way I can fit it to what you desire! I'm willing to indulge in you <3 Though its fine if you were to make it broad or general

✔️Although being neurodivergent myself I would like to ask you not to be too heavy on such specific topics when requesting.

✔️ Theres no specific way to give an ask, so just go for whatevers on your mind! <3

With that, I think I added all that I could think of. So please do enjoy your stay, that is if you decide to🌷

~Sincerly, Jay/Jello

Due to be edited anytime if needed